This memorial article was published in Toronto's XTRA! Magazine

Written by Krista M. Taves

Five and a half years ago, I went to my first Bisexual Women of Toronto meeting. I had come out recently and was looking to meet others like me. I was so nervous. A petite cute woman, curly dark hair, in her early 40s, sat next to me. I kept glancing at her. She had nice eyes. She looked like she knew what was going on. I looked at her shyly and smiled. Her eyes brightened and she said, oh so sweetly, "I do hope you'll come back." I had just met Karol Steinhouse.

I did come back and within two months started facilitating meetings. Little did I know I was launching into a long-standing professional and personal relationship with Karol Steinhouse. As a co-founder of Bisexual Women of Toronto, she was my mentor and role model. She also became one of my best friends. I say was, because on March 28, 2000, Karol was killed in a car accident. She was 47 years old. She is survived by a her partner Ken, daughter Danielle, son Jesse, and many who loved her dearly.

Karol moved through her world in so many ways. She taught at the School of Social Work at Ryerson Polytechnic University for ten years. She was coordinator of their Interdisciplinary Studies program. She was also enrolled in the Ph.D. program at the Ontario Institute for Studies in Education. She had just started a thesis entitled, "Hybridity and Community Building: How and Why Bi/Queer Women Form Communities". Bisexual Women of Toronto was to form the main source of her research. Many women will know her through "Bi Lines," her regular column in Siren Magazine. Karol was committed to social action and social justice. She was a feminist, a bisexual political activist and dedicated to anti-racism and grass-roots activism. She enacted her politics in a way that maintained her integrity while accepting others' differences. If there was ever someone who could communicate through difference, it was Karol.

Karol was one of the strongest women I knew. She was also warm, loveable, vulnerable and often made mistakes, something I discovered as our mutual commitment to bi political activism matured into a deep and loving friendship. I came to know her family. She met mine. As we planned support group meetings, Pride Day celebrations, safer sex workshops, volunteer training, social events, and public relations strategies, Karol shared the joys and struggles of living as a bisexual polyamorous Jewish woman, partner, mother, lover, daughter, friend, teacher and student. Karol lived fiercely. I was amazed at the depth of engagement she sustained and demanded from her loved ones. To be in her life meant being real. She accepted nothing less from others or from herself.

She will be missed by many. On behalf of my bi sisters and brothers, I extend to her family our deepest condolences. And Karol, can we thank you enough? You were a powerful advocate and you infused this community with drive and vision. We will not forget you.